My Mom would have been Damn Proud!

I remember my first day at Ball State like it was yesterday. My Mom dropped me off at my new dorm and a few minutes later a blond headed guy in camouflage pants burst into my room with a water machine gun and said “Beers in my room 7pm” and walked out. I thought to myself that I was indeed in new territory.

The big blond kid, as it turns out would be Troy Hammon. Troy would turn into a friend, then a fraternity brother and despite his obvious issues is now a successful teacher with a wife and some great kids. But the point is, the first person I met on campus would be connected to Phi Sigma Kappa at a later date.

Phi Sigma Kappa would be a reoccurring theme throughout my first few months at Ball State. This was mostly due to the fact that my dorm was loaded with them. They seemed to be cool enough guys and often Mark Anderson would buy pizza and talk about the house. Mark was a good guy that was built like a statue of Buddha. He would harass me about coming to the Phi Sig house. To be completely honest I really did not think of myself as the “Frat Boy” type.

The combination of not thinking that I was frat material and being dirt poor kind of confirmed in my mind that I would not be joining Phi Sig. But in Mark’s mind, I was joining and that was all there was to it.

After being asked and asked, I took a trip over to the house to meet the guys and attend a party. I remember walking into this ass ugly green farm house with this big front porch. I met a few of the guys and once again, they seemed cool enough.

I was standing on the big white front porch when two guys came out; one big hulking guy and one who was rail thin. The big guy introduced himself as “Sinker” and said “don’t ask it’s a long story”. The thin guy smoked like a chimney and shook a lot. He was to be called “Harry”. Standing there talking to the mountainous “Sinker” and the ever shaking “Harry”, somehow I decided that this was the place for me.

I was a mutt and they were indeed mutts as well and I figured that if they fit in….how bad could it be.  

The next day I called my Mom and told her that I wanted to be a fraternity man. My mom blew a gasket, and gave me a dissertation regarding money and “buying friends” and beer and….. it just went on and on. So, I knew that if I was going to join, it would have to be secret and I would have to pay for it myself, which is what I did, only telling her that I had joined months later. I know that had I not met Mark, Jeff (Sinker) and Greg (Harry) I would not have even been interested in joining (I guess that we can all blame them).  Ha

Mom eventually got her mind right and began to hate the idea just a little bit less. Over the years I remained a Phi Sig at Ball State, Mom would stop by the house and shake her head at the poor conditions and ask why I would want to live in a place like this. She did seem to start to ease up on the negativity when I was elected President.  

Overtime, I don’t think she was convinced but she fought about it less. She even seemed to be proud to wear her “Phi Sig Mom” sweatshirt to work. I am guessing that it was her way of bragging a bit to her co-workers.

Over the years my involvement with Phi Sig has ebbed and flowed with marriage, moving and divorce.  But, about a year ago, I was going through a bad period and several of my brothers were helping me through it and mom finally understood a bit better. She even went as far as saying “It is great that you guys are still there for each other.” And even threw in a “I really didn’t get it.” I was shocked that it was audibly mumbled. Crazy talk from the a woman that had fought tooth and nail to keep me from joining in the first place.

Sadly, the day she really would have truly “got it” was last Thursday. It was the day of her funeral and 1/3 of the people in attendance were my brothers from Ball State as well as brothers from Stetson and Valdosta State. Those same “bought” friends from 1986 were standing beside me as the day lingered on and a few helped me carry her to her final resting place.

I hope there is a heaven and that people do look down. If they do,  I know she now “Gets it” and would be Damn Proud!