A blog about life and the quest for understanding

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Thank you, but I do not need Viagra

I made the mistake of signing up on a website a few weeks back and now I am receiving 15-30 spam emails a day.....all wanting my attention and my money. I am amazed by the plethora of goods and services available at the mere click of a button.

At my fingertips at any given time I can purchase pharmaceuticals, earn a PhD, lose weight, buy tires, learn Spanish, order Viagra and support the Green Party all within seconds of each other. The transactional possibilities are endless.

Wait a minute, Viagra? That’s silly; I have no issues….down there. What have they heard? Who’s been talking? Good lord, that’s just…. Ridiculous!

And I like the Green Party well enough, what’s not to like about hippy girls, the Grateful Dead and Birkenstocks? I’m down with the hippies and I like trees, so there, I'm in….done.

But I don’t need tires, don’t watch porn, don’t like Bermuda, have no interest in Elle Magazine and I’m not sure that a degree from the University of Phoenix is even considered a real degree.

Spanish on the other hand…..I wouldn’t mind learning Spanish and 14 days does seem like a perfect timeframe for me. Get in fast, get out clean and 14 days later….Mi habla the Espanole! Or something like that, I may need something more to say than “Cerveza, Mi Amigo” next time I go to the Yucatan.

But I’m not joining the Moose Lodge or studying to become a nun. I don’t want free makeup or discounted pain killers and for the love of God, I refuse to buy any damned Viagra.

I mean, how did they hear about me…..anyway?